toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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