then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
