We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Randomize
