in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
