And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
