your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
