I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
