I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
