Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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