I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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