my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
