Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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