Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
You can't just leave with hair like that
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Ladies don't puke and tell
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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