If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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