Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
