I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize