I just made out with a guy for $7.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize