I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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