remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
