I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
