is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Never joke about your clitoris.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
