you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
