It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
