We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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