i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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