She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
