Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize