The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
