After last night, I could never be a politician.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
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