we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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