It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
