Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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