I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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