I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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