I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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