So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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