Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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