Your mouth is God's brothel.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
