i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
So many bounce houses so little time
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
