Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
