The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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