I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
