she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
