I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
