I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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