and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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