if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
