I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Edward fifth and chaser hands
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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