I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
