She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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