Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
No subtext here. People are naked.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
