he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Need sex. Gaining weight.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
