There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
