shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
this must be what syphilis tastes like
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
My liver just had a heart attack.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
