At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize