bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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