i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
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