I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
