He asked me if I "almost moaned"
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
