so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
