k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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