and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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