You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
