get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
