I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
