he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I deserve this hangover.
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