told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
