Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize