Just fell off a train. Bad.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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